第2章 童言无戏(2)
16 Make Someone Else Glad
A school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad."Now，children，"she said，"has anyone of you ever make someone else glad？"
"Please，teacher，"said a small boy，"I've made someone glad yesterday."
"Well done.Who was that？"
"My granny."
"Good boy.Now tell us how you made your grandfather glad."
"Please，teacher.I went to see him yesterday，and stayed with him for four hours.Then I said to him，'Grandpa，I'm going home.'And he said，'well，I'm glad！'"
让别人高兴
一个学校的老师在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。“现在，孩子们，”她说。“你们当中有谁让别人高兴过？”
“我，老师，”一个小男孩说，“昨天我就使别人高兴过。”
“好孩子。现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你爷爷高兴的？
“是这样的，老师。我昨天去看他，在他那儿待了四个小时。然后我跟她说：'爷爷，我要回家了。'他说：'啊，我很高兴！'"
17 Talking to God on the Telephone
Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story.Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer.
"You talk to people on the telephone and don't see them on the other end of the line，right？"he began.The children nodded yes."Well，talking to God is like talking on the telephone.He's on the other end，but you can't see him.He is listening though."
Just then a little boy named Jim stand piped up and asked，"What's his number？"
和上帝通电话
每周日牧师都会把孩子们叫到教堂前跟他们讲一个故事。有一次他带来一部电话，以便更好地解释祈祷是什么意思。
“你打电话给别人但是看不到电话另一端的人，是吗？”他开始解释。孩子们点头同意。“那么，和上帝谈话就像通电话一样，上帝在电话的另一端，但是你看不到上帝，可是他在听你说。”
就在这时，一个叫吉姆的小男孩站起来大声问：“上帝的电话号码是多少？”
18 Definitely
Nursery school teacher says to her class，"Who can use the word'definitely'in a sentence？"First little girl says，"The sky is definitely blue."
Teacher says，"Sorry，Betty，but the sky can be grey，or orange ..."
Second little boy says，"Trees are definitely green."
"Sorry，but in the autumn，the trees are brown..."
Little Jack from the back of the class stands up and says，"Does a fart have lumps？"
The teacher looks horrified and says，"Jack！ of course not！！！"
"OK.Then I DEFINITELY have shit in my pants..."
绝对
幼儿园的老师对班上小朋友说：“有谁可以用'绝对'一词造一个句子？”
第一个小女孩说：“天空绝对是蓝的。”
老师说：“不，贝蒂，天空也有可能是灰色或橙色的。”
第二个小男孩说：“树绝对是绿的。”
“可是秋天时，树会是褐色的。”
坐在教室后排的小杰克站起来说：“放屁的时候会不会有硬块？”
老师一脸恐惧地说：“杰克，当然不会！”
“好，那在我裤子里绝对有大便！”
19 Intelligent Son
One day，the father let the seven‐year‐old son send a letter，the son took the letter and ran away，and then did the father remember not to write the address and name on the envelope.
After the son came back，the father asked him，"Have you thrown the letter into the mail box？""Certainly."
"Haven't you seen there was no address and name on the envelope？"
"Certainly l see there was nothing."
"Then why don't you take it back？"
"I just thought that the reason why you do not write the address and the addressee is that you don't want to let me know who you'll send the lettert to！"
聪明的儿子
有一天，父亲让七岁的儿子去寄一封信，儿子已经拿着信跑走了，父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。
儿子回来后，父亲问他：“你把信丢进邮筒了吗？”
“当然。”
“你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人的名字吗？”
“我当然看见信封上什么也没写。”
“那你为什么不拿回来呢？”
“我还以为你不写地址和收信人，是为了不想让我知道你把信寄给谁呢！”
20 Four Rabbits
Teacher：If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits，how many rabbits have you got？
Jimmy：four！
Teacher：No，listen carefully again.If I give you one rabbits and one rabbits and another one rabbits，how many rabbits have you got？
Jimmy：four！
Teacher：Let's try another way.If I give you one apples and one apples and another one apples，how many apples have you got？
Jimmy：three.
Teacher：Good.Now if I give you one rabbits and one rabbits and another one rabbits，how many rabbits have you got？
Jimmy：four！
Teacher：How on earth do you work out that three lots of one rabbits is four？
Jimmy：I've already got one rabbit at home now！
四只兔子
老师：“如果我给你一只兔子，加一只兔子，再加一只兔子，那你有多少只兔子？”
吉米：“四只！”
老师：“不对，再仔细听一遍。如果我给你一只兔子，加一只兔子，再加一只兔子，那你有多少只兔子？”
吉米：“四只！”
老师：“让我们换种说法。如果我给你一个苹果，加一个苹果，再加一个苹果，那你有几个苹果？”
吉米：“三个。”
老师：“很好。现在如果我给你一只兔子，加一只兔子，再加一只兔子，那你有多少只兔子？”
吉米：“四只！”
老师：“你到底怎么把三组一只兔子加成四只的？”
吉米：“我家里现在已经有一只啦！”
21 Only One Cake Left
A train stopped at small station.A man looked out of the window and saw a woman selling cakes.People from the train were buying them.The man wanted to buy a cake，but the woman was standing far from the window and it was raining.The man didn't want to go out in the rain.
Suddenly he saw a boy.The boy was walking on the platform not far from him."Come here，boy，"the man said，"do you know how much those cakes are？""Five cents for each ."the boy answered .
The man gave the boy ten cents and asked him to buy two cakes."One for me and one for you ."A few minutes later，the boy came back.He was eating a cake.He gave the man five cents and said，"There was only one cake left."
只剩一块蛋糕了
火车停在了一个小车站，一个男人朝窗外看了看，看见一个妇人正在卖蛋糕。车上的人都纷纷下去买蛋糕。这个男人也想买，但是车窗离那个妇人太远了，而且外边还下着雨，这个男人可不想冒着雨去买。
忽然他看见了一个小男孩，这个男孩走在离他不远的那个月台上。“过来，小孩儿，”这个男人说，“你知道那些蛋糕多少钱吗？”“五美分一块。”男孩说。
然后这个男人给了男孩十美分，让他去买两块蛋糕。“一块给你，一块给我。”几分钟后，男孩吃着蛋糕回来了。他还给了男人五美分，说：“那儿只剩一块蛋糕了。”
22 A Gentleman
John was seven years old，and his sister，Catherine，was five.One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.
The children played for an hour，and then at half past four their aunt took John into the kitchen.She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him，"Now here's a knife，John.Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister，but remember to do it like a gentleman."
"Like a gentleman？"John asked，"How does gentleman do it？"
"They always give the bigger piece to the other person."answered his aunt at once.
"Oh.I see."said John.He thought about this for a few seconds.